Sitting on my new kitchen island, eating creamed corn, I contemplate on how unfit I am. Let us go back the previous day when the husband and I decided to go on a bike ride by the river. Of course, we picked the windiest day of the week to do it, with wind speeds at 25kph and brutal gusts of 40kph. The fact that we haven’t ridden our bikes in half a year added to our suffering.
It was worth it though. I feel my hamstrings tighten, sore, in dire need of a good stretch. That’s a good type of pain. And yet, here I am, eating canned corn I made even worse health-wise by adding sour cream, cheese and butter. I SHOULD feel bad, but honestly, I can barely give a fuck.
Living the Philippines, I had to be sexier. I had to always think about what I put in my mouth, not because I want to, but because people around me never cease to remind me of my ungainly weight. As an example, let me share a true story!
Last year I went home after several months of living in Korea. I was my usual fat self, didn’t really gain any significant weight throughout the year. I was leaving for the airport, lugging my huge bags to the car, with the garage door open. Suddenly, one of the neighbors I personally did not know, shouted from the street, “OMG, you’re so fat! What happened to you?!” That’s right, folks, these types of situations are accepted in our country. People will just shower your with fat-shaming words because they “care” about your well-being.
Fuck them. I have eyes. I can clearly see that I am getting fat. You saying something about it will just make me feel bad. My motivation for action should come from my own thoughts, not from people around me. As they say, change comes from within.
With the fat-shaming insults, unsolicited advice will most certainly appear in the constant stream of trash coming from their mouths.
“Have you tried paleo? I know someone who knows someone who lost 50 pounds!”
“I heard crossfit gets you thin really fast! I haven’t tried it, but I’m sure it’s worth the money.”
“You should try this new diet program. It’s just X amount of money per week, and you’ll guaranteed to shed X amount of pounds!”
What is this obsession about being “healthy” anyway? It’s such a first-world problem. People who can’t afford food won’t care about the type of food they eat because they are hungry, starving and malnourished. And yet here is a group of people who throw away money for the words organic, free-trade and 100% natural. There are so many hyped-up fad diets to choose from, but I don’t really understand how it would help a person because once they are out of the diet, the pounds come tumbling back in.
I want to be more fit. I want to be a bit thinner. But I don’t need the constant barrage of insults hurled my way. I am slowly doing it, in a way I enjoy, with the food I like. And that, for me, is being healthy.